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Funny Things

Putin Forgives, Citing "The Bromance Will Continue"

In a stunning turn of events on the political front, Mr. Potato Head announced his bid for the Presidency as an “Inspudpendent” just hours after the latest round of caucuses and primaries. “I have no experience, but I adapt easily to any challenge,” Potato Head said.

Political candidates from both Republican and Democratic camps were indignant at the prospect of a third-party candidate. “This guy. I know him. He's terrible.” said Republican front-runner Donald Trump. “He's half-baked, this guy.”

From used wood pallets to mason jars, the internet Do-It-Yourself crowd has proven they can make anything into a project that is sure to have Pinterest pinners pining. The latest in this trend are foil gum wrappers. “Gum wrappers are great because they can be used shiny side up or down,” said interior-designer Red Wrigley. “I used about 500,000 wrappers to create a tin-ceiling effect in a kitchen just recently and the result was out of this orbit! I mean, hubba bubba, it was gorgeous!”

When Robert Blargo was a teenager he struggled with being severely uncool. He was teased relentlessly for his high water pants, bowl haircut and laugh that sounds like mating hyenas. Unfortunately for Blargo, this penchant for being uncool followed him into his twenties. Despite his career as an acclaimed taxidermist, his confidence waned. “I felt so awful. All my friends are going to see Batman versus Superman with the girls they met online and I'm alone with no one but my mounted otter, El Chapo to keep me company,” Blargo said.